He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
