There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
