he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize