matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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