I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
