I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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