yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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