Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
