he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
