I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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