Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
