i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
