sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
