let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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