omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
