I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
