Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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