And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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