yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
