That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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