How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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