You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
