I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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