guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
