i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
