I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
