how can u be prego again
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
