so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
