Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
