Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
