I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
