uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
