I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
