im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize