Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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