found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
