Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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