I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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