a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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