Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
