Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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