we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I showed him my bush... on skype.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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