oh god the rape fog is back!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize