Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
