guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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