I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
