This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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