I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize