Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
