Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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