I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Im part way to drunk.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize