After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
