I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
