Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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