I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
