she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
