i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
