Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
420 ftw
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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