I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize