just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
