Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
