OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
