well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
