Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
