Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
