I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
