She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
