I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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