but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
