I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
