do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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