A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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