I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
