I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
