For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
