Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
