Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize