good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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