The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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