Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
