I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
