new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
