I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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