I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
