six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
